AIS - The Cyre Job

Pierce's Plight
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session One (The Cyre Job)

Silus Arrynt took a hush hush job from very high in the Breland Government and then disappeared…The Breland government washed its hands of the case and said he was lost…Jacob Arrynt pulled together all of Silus’s old contacts for a rescue mission…Sam the paranoid tinker; conflicted Pierce, doorman at The Drake; Guillermo the rudest thing on Eberron; and Crawgle our resident Carney…Jake got a tip that Silus was being held in Cyre, well behind enemy lines…In fact, we would be doing our mission in the middle of a major battle between several nations occurring near by…

We made our way to the crumbling keep…Sam and Pierce attempted to sneak up to the entrance but large bugs rushed out before we got very close…The bugs were not very strong but the pair of two headed, four armed kobolds inside were…Pierce and Guill cleared the minions while Jake got the hell poked out of him by the kobolds…After the battle we found Silus chained inside a magic circle…A Breland Major was also chained in the room…He told us that he had been ambushed and brought here, the Kobolds put Silus in the circle and kept checking his skin for something…Jake, broke him loose but was stunned by some sort of magic feedback…He assumed that his Uncle had had that happening to him for days/weeks…We decided to leave after looting the bodies…

As we got the entrance of the keep, the Emerald Claw showed up…They had several zombies in tow, a few armored soldiers, and the leader was a necromancer of some sort…

We cleared out the zombie minions fairly quickly and moved on to the necromancer and the guards…Chop chop chop and we dispatched and looted them…We went back to the city with Silus and then fast forward to when he abandoned the agency and we fell on hard times…

Out on a rainy night, we hear a cry and murder most foul is committed…We rush up and find a dead man...Doing what we usually do to dead people we looted him…We take a satchel that IDs him as a provost for the university...The satchel also holds a strange book with hidden writing in it…At that moment we were ambushed by warforged working for the Prince of Swords...One sprouted three little mechanical chihuahua…The other wielded a large blade…We broke them down and one of them sprouted a mechanical bird that flew off to tell someone that these warforged had failed…At that moment the City watch showed up…

We badly argued our case (skill challenge) and managed to avoid being arrested…Our DM then had a hot date with his fiance so we broke up and went our separate ways…

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Pierce's Plight II
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session 2 (A Paying Customer)

After the po po let us go, we have and odd encounter with someone in a hood that flashes a House Cannith symbol ring…He tells us to meet someone at a bar if we want to really know why the murder took place…We head back to the office and try to decipher the book we found on the scholar…We were unsuccessful in cracking any sort of code, we did determine that this was some sort of magical telegram used by important people in Houses for transporting information…We had a short rest and went to meet our contact…

As soon as we entered the bar we were whisked to the back of the room by a friendly halfling…Our contact turned out to be a non-heir member of house Cannith…She told us that she use to work with Silus and wanted to hire us…We would earn 1000gp and the favor of our houses…Desperate, we accept…She gave us a map and told us the scholar was going to lead an expedition deep into one of Sharn’s towers to recover a metal pentagram, this pentagram would allow them to build powerful devices from days of old…She also told us the Prince of Swords wanted it to increase the power of his warforged revolt…We then decided to show her the book…She touched the cover with her house signet ring and it decoded itself…She turned it to a particular page read it and gave it back to us…She would not say anything about what it said…PO’d we took an advance and the map…

Having nothing better to do we left for the undercity…A gang along the way decided that we needed to pay a toll…We totally pooched the skill challenge and ended up dance fighting them instead…Combat went well and we looted and moved on…A new magic crossbow and healing potion in tow…

We ended up in the Rat Market where garbage found in the sewers are sold…We met an industrious goblin who wanted 1000sp to provide us with directions to the valve cluster we needed to find the entrance…We slowly and painfully weaseled him down to 500sp, then pried open our flat coin purses to pay the little SOB off…Crawgle bought some rat meat off of him and we were off…

We met with warforged intent on Skulduggery…They demanded the Book we found on the Provost…We did not think we had it, we thought the scion for house Cannith had kept it, so we moved on the the bashing…Lucky for us, the valves we were looking for blew off and blasted them all of them helter skelter…We bashed and broke them…Of course the leaders head popped off and flew away to tell god knows who that we had won again!...We found the hatch we were suppose to enter…Got zapped trying to break into it…Remembered we actually had the book and touched it to the door…Open Sesame, it popped open…We trekked down into a large open area…Sam decided we would follow the left wall…We were set upon by bugs…Two adults and a swarm of young-uns…Fight them we did…the adults went down very quickly, the babies burned us to bits…I went around a corner, a lit corner and pulled a freaking rat mosh pit down on us…Everyone bleeding we attempted to escape…Lucky for us, AJ took his foot off the gas and we survived by the skin of our teeth, with Lloyder having to make two rolls with two failed death saves…We then found a quiet temple to rest in…

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Pierce's Plight III
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session 3 (Saber… and Other Assorted Pests)

We woke up the next day in the shrine…Crawgle had a bad night…Maybe the rat meat from earlier…He stayed in camp a molting barfing mess…We cracked a new sunrod and found another building in this large cavern about 20 feet from the shrine…The doors had the house seal of Cannith, but the book did not open it…We could find no lock or traps…We walked around it and found nothing…Stumped, Jake climbed the wall and discovered that part of the cavern ceiling had let go and smashed a hole in the flat room of the building…The group found that they all had mad climbing skills and easily scaled the wall…We dropped the sunrod in…It was a forge area…A mechanical dog got mushed by the falling rock…No movement…We four each dropped a rope and climbed in…Poof, a mechanical freakshow appeared to greet us…Four mechanical rats, two more mecha dogs, and a big shovel handed contraption…Sam rattled off what they were and we commenced to the smashing…The shovel thing started throwing small piles of scrap metal at us, great!...Fireballs and shouts dropped the rats…Dogs got hammered down..and when the shoveler got pinned the the wall his melee did not match his ranged…We searched the place and found some magic gear, some objects of value on the shelves, but not the blue print we were sent for…Guii, who takes mechanical eyes as trophies, noticed the dogs had this funny rods pop out of their heads when they died…We then noticed that their were three holes that matched the shape of these rods (triangle, pentagram, and square) above the forge…Jake checked for traps, no luck…I tried the pentagram and got the party thundered damaged…We healed up, everyone backed up…And Sam tried the triangle (click), Square (click), and retried the pentagram (click)...He informed us that it was smallest number of sides to largest…A panel in the wall popped open revealing even more loot and the blueprint/star/puzzle piece we were searching for…Pierce had a flash of Deja-Vu at seeing the piece but could not recall anything more…There was also a map with symbols on it…Most were in the goblin lands, a few in the Mournland, and a star on Sharn…It however was a very old map…

We guessed that this was a map showing the location of the rest of the pieces to this plan…We loaded up, climb up, and had a warning shot fireball blast over our heads as we stood on the roof…A warforged named Saber told us to give him the star in the name of the Prince of Swords…We declined and the next crossbow fired fireball nailed us…Saber then spawned four rat sized toothy constructs and the fight began…Guii returned the favor and torched his rats…Everyone else climbed down and bum rushed him…He popped out a pair of hammers, Guii began taunting him that he did not understand what the word Saber means…He hit pretty hard but was pinned, he sprouted more rats, but these were shouted or crossbowed down…For a change his head did not fly off when we won the fight…We found one of his hammers was magical…Guii popped out another eye…We made it back to the surface and met at the tavern with our contact from House Cannith…She took the map, star, and book back…Paid and thanked us…Then informed us that she would look at what we discovered and see what would come of it…We sold and divided the loot…Crawgle bought some pink stuff for his tummy, I bought a new spear and armor, Sam moved the magic of the fire crossbow to his beloved Vera, and then Jake und Lloyd both purchased as much of the loot as they could afford…The fleshbags then carried on with their mating, eating, waste creating, and sleeping cycles…Sam plotted for a way to get the forge back to his workshop…Guii tried to create a game out of his eyeball collection…

Knock Knock at the agency door…Package for the Inquisitive Service…Jake accepted then tipped the guy a gold piece…I think he may have released fluids from his pelvis…Inside we found the book and a note from our Cannith friend…She asked us to return the book to the College for a reward…We smelled a trap, so we loaded for bear and headed out, half expecting a zoo full of warforged to land on us…No such luck, just a Dean of Office Meetings to bore the crap out of us…He did offer us a little gold for the book, an invite to the memorial they are building for the fallen professor, and that someone in Biological Studies might have use of us…We made our way down to a professor with an interest in Kruthiks (nasty hive minded bugs)...He told us that there have been reports of a new version of flying Kruthiks spotted in the lower parts of the city…He told us that the Taint Foundry had a very resistant hive that they could not clear and he would pay us well for a sample or egg of one of the flying versions…We negotiated for 100 gps and two interns…We made our way down to the foundry…Dirty surly dwarves, hobgoblins, and humans working underpaid warforged in a hot nasty factory is what we found…We got by the guards and waited in the company bar…A clean-shaven (?!?) dwarf that introduced himself as the foreman and a hobgoblin snake charmer of the Sovereign Host met with us…The bugs were eating the hobgoblins flock and the dwarves workers…They also offed 100gp for us to clear it out…We agreed but could not get the pot sweetened…They gave us the location most likely for us to find the hive…Off we went…

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Pierce's Plight IV
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session 4 (Just Another Bug Hunt?)

We head into the tunnel…Crawgle felt better, but kept muttering that he ate rat all the time and this never happened before…We came across the remains of an not so old fight, the room still reeked of ammonia (the Kruthik death scent)...We found black fletched arrows that goblins commonly use…We brushed this off as there was a hobgoblin was one of the ones that hired us, this could have been one of the other sets of exterminators sent in by their followers…A little deeper we found a finished room with a sepulchre in the middle with piles of humanoid skulls, a red banner, a caved in wall, a stone door, and several dug tunnels that we assumed the Kruthik dug…We did not get long to search before a clanking sound preceded a swarm of Kruthik showing up…Pierce and Jake plugged two of the holes…This held them off for a round until they started cutting their own routes into the room…Jake was able to finish his lightly infested tunnel and draw the loose Kruthik to him…For no front line in a tight area this fight was very cleanly fought…Things just went our way…We found discovered this room was the entry area to a very old goblin shrine…Jake found a sack of belongings in the skull pile…Looks like goblins tried to get into this famous goblin’s tomb and recover some famous blade...Sam tells us that the banner is magical and Guii grabs it…We take their clues and head through the stone doors because the Kruthik tunnels seem like a bad idea…Next room has a 5×5 set of named tiles in the center…We play with them a little while with no luck…We eventually step on a tile with the goblin word “flame”...Poof, three fire elementals show up…We begin to fight them…They trigger the tile with the goblin word for “hell”...Poof an imp appears…We keep fighting, they keep pressing tiles…Lucky for us, only minions show up after the first sets…After we beat the summoned monsters, the tiles crack, destroying our way into the tomb…fook…On to the next room….Twenty foot stair down to a 4×4 room with more symbols in the center 2×2 area…Jake discovers a pit in the first untiled square with a grinder at the bottom…Pierce jumped across the whole room (showing off) and climbed the far 20’ stair up to a door…He pushed on it to see if it was trapped…It was…

Very little was not trapped when it was triggered…Both doors locked, both staircases became slides, the tiled center squares with the words began to rock back and forth, and the outer ring of space around the tiles became pits to the grinder or had stabbing rods from the ceiling…Lucky for Pierce, everyone was able to stay where they were and not fall in or get stabbed by one of the traps…Shortly their after that the Kruthiks showed up from tunnels in the pits but just above the grinder…Guii blew them all away with one sniper fireball…Pierce began to disable the three hinges on his door, Crawgle reset the stairs, and the rest of the party made their ways across the playground of doom…We made it out without major injuries but with much shit given to Pierce…Down and over a few passages led us to another door…Inside we found an odd room…The sewer poured from the center of the room into a floor grate…Four statues of skeletal displacer beasts surrounded the torrent of sewage…Around the room were niches that had bones in them…Several party members noticed movement in the alcoves and three figures standing in the water stream between the statues….Two dead drakes and a rotten, bloated humanoid…We moved in and struck hard and fast…Guii flamebursts and critted a zombie lizard, Crawgle threw daggers and critted the other zombie reptile, and then Jake, Pierce, and Sam blew away the corruption corpse and the minions…A fight where luck fell all over our party…We searched the room and looked for ways out of the room…Guii gave Pierce a massive stinkeye when he suggested exploring up or down the sewage grate…

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Pierce's Plight V
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session 5 (THE HORROR…the horror…)

The sewage room proved to be too much for Jake…He went near catatonic…The only thing he could seem to do was give Guii his healing potion and translate goblin for us…We decided to press on…The next room we discovered had a large hand with a bubbling blood fountain in it…One wall had two large alcoves with stone sarcophagus in them…The floor around them was littered with blackened bones…Four other doors were in the room…Three were steel and had the words “Sworn Brothers” written on them in Goblin…The last was stone…The blood fountain had an inscription on it in goblin that stated that sworn brothers and great warriors drank blood to bind themselves to each other…Guii confirmed that this was common practice among some cultures including goblin tribes…Pierce felt around the bottom of the fountain and found an inlet of some sort and decided to drink some blood…Nothing seemed to happen…Everyone else decided to try it too…We even forced some down Jake’s gullet…The fountain had motes of energy floation around it, but these seemed benign…Pierce checked the stone sarcophagus and found the bones were blackened not by heat but by necrotic energy…The coffins seemed solid and had latches/hinges to open them, but there seemed to be some sort of pressure on them from inside…These seemed like the wrong course so we spread out around the room…Pierce and Crawgle decided that maybe since we drank the blood we were now sworn brothers and went to one of the steel doors…It was locked, so Crawgle picked it open with Pierces tools….Boom, wrong move…Several things happened at once…All three steel doors flew open…The door nearest Sam appeared empty…The door no one was by had a quick moving Hobgoblin corpse in it…Crawgle and Pierce’s door had a skeleton in hobgoblin armor in it armed with a big ass falchon….The sarcophagus blew open with a burst of necrotic energy (lucky no one was near it) and five skeletons formed from the piles…Lastly the fountain in the middle of the room began to produce a red misty fog…

The hobgoblin corpse was a wight and sprang to flank with the falchon wielding skeleton to beat on Crawgle, sucking out healing surges with each hit…Pierce suffered an OA in order to shout kill three of the blackened minions then recharge the falchon wielding skeleton…Sam’s empty room proved to hold a ghost like figure that chased him around the room…The fountains mist continued to grow but we quickly determind that it did not seem to hurt us…Much healing, a 1 on the avalanche strike, and a game of “chase the invisible ghost”...We were victorious with Pierce unconscious and everyone else well worn…We found no loot, healed up, and considered taking a rest in the room…We quickly changed our minds when the noise of the Kruthiks because louder…We pressed on…20 feet past the stone door we found another room…This one was freaking huge…About 125 feet long by 60 feet wide…The room was lit by those motes of energy…In the center of the room was a huge statue with four saluting hobgoblins back to back facing all directions…In the near corners of the room were statues of spike chain armed guards…Big columns lined the room to the far side…The far side has two statues of hobgoblins with scimitars, two stone chests and a stone sarcophagus with a lifesized carving of a reclining hobgoblin warrior with large tusks…This looks like the main tomb we have been looking for…No Kruthik tunnels in this room…One other door on the far side of the room…Krawgle and I saluted the giant statues in the middle of the room, it seemed only polite…I moved to check out one of the nearer statues and Krawgle the other…Everyone else hung by the entrance…The did not appear actuated and the spiked chains looked to be stone…We left the eyes alone for now and moved to the large central statues…We discovered that the base of the statue looked like it could rotate…Crawgle and Pierced jambed it so it could not move…The rest of the party filtered into the center of the room…We moved up to the back wall…I was near one scimitar statue, again looking just like a statue…Crawgle was near the other on the opposite side of the dias…Sam was near the center with Guii…Near the boxes and the main coffin…The reclining statue appeared to be female…

Pierce checked to see if the scimitar wielding hobgoblin statue would move at all by gently rocking and twisting it…That set off the fireworks…The four central statues boomed out a warning that the honorable amongst us should have guided the dishonourable out of the tomb…It then tried to do something that Crawgle and Pierce had prevented it from doing…The five statues in the corners and on the coffin came to life…The had suprise and beat the shit out of us…Won initiative and beat more shit out of us…The hit hard and drained surges…When our initiatives came around it was on…We decided we had to retreat to the far side where we had a doorway to defend about 25 squares away…Anyone with a Daily smoked one…Potions were drunk…Another 1 was rolled on an Avalance strike…We were able to pull back into that hallway very beat up and without any more healing from Sam or Guii left and half the party bloodied…More potions were drunk…Crawgle had the worst run of die luck I have ever seen…He had around 7 rolls in a row under 5 to 7…Unless it was a Stealth check which he was hitting in spades…Crits were rolled…Pierce went down like a pile of spare parts, but we made it with around three surges left in the party…We looted and found a blue glowing +2 named magic sword that switched forms between longsword, dagger, and a few other shapes…It was also much stronger vs Aberations…Unfortunately, Kruthiks are not aberrations…Crawgle was awarded this weapon, at which point we realised the magic weapon he is using now gives him a cumulative +1 to hit each time he misses, oops…This weapon is also famed among the goblin tribes, which might help us later…We also found some good cash loot…We decided to rest and hope to the gods that Jake snaps out of it…

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Pierce's Plight VI
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Session 6 (What do you mean “they cut the power”?)

Battered and bruised we woke in the morning to find Jake his old self…We decided to give the only remaining healing potion to Jake as a welcome back gesture…We left the Tomb and a short distance down the corridor found ourselves blocked by the ass end of a devil statue…We took stock of the direction and distance of the dungeon we had explored so far and decided this was the reverse of a room we were in previously…Unable to find a way around the devil’s caboose we back tracked…Next room back was the tomb with the blood fountain…No unexplored options…Next room back is the sewer room…I boosted Jake up and he found a small tunnel (squeezing for a small creature) that the flying Kruthik had jumped us from…Pierce game Guii the “I told you so look” and pulled the grate from the floor…It emptied into a room about 10 feet down…We lowered a rope and climbed down…We found a medium sized tunnel the Kruthik had dug…Single file we headed down…Too not become lost we went left at every intersection…We found paths to other rooms we had been too…We then found a new crossroads room with two high ceiling braces and a bunch of rubble…

Several party members pointed out that there was a slime that normally suggest a Kruthik egg chamber near by…We stepped into the room and found we had not seen several Kruthik hidding in the room…Jake earned this spot by getting most of the attacks dropped on him…Things actually went well, we fought a new type of Kruthik that spits poison spikes, but they had a case of the misses and did not recharge…We headed down the slimiest tunnel out…Finally we found a large deadended room full of eggs and slime curtains…It was at this point that several nature studying members of the party informed the rest of us that there is no such thing as a Kruthik Queen…Any Kruthik female can lay eggs…But there is a Hive Lord that does the male side of things…We headed into the room…We were beset by every Kruthik in the book, including some swarms and a Hive Guardian…He appeared to want to direct things from the back and spit a large blast of acid when things were clear…Guii fireblasted Jake and all the buggy friends surrounding him…Pierce bypassed the main fight and went to stab the Guardian…Crawgle went for the flank and started dicing…Robbie missed with his Scouring Bolt for the second straight encounter….Things went well and we found a +2 Amulet of Protection…We gathered 31 eggs, discovering that about 1 in 5 have the flying mutation…We collected our fee from an ungrateful Tainte Factory foreman…Then the Hobgoblin Priest wet himself when he found out we had found an old goblin tomb…He hustled off to explore it himself and told us that we should talk to some hot elven professor at the University…We headed to the Zoology department head and collected our interns and payment…Guii tried very very hard to squeeze some more loot out of him, but he had nothing…We then headed off for a meeting with the hot half-elven professor…She met outside, told us how we rule, and then asked us if she could borrow the blade for a few days…We declined her offer, informing her that the only thing that would accomplish would be her death or it getting stolen…

She informed us that we had a piece of a crown...It has five pieces…Each piece resides in the tomb of one of the five great goblin warlords…The crown originally was a four piece crown from the elven nation the goblins drove from the continent ages ago…The piece Crawgle uses to kill people is a goblin addition to the crown…She also informed us that she knows the ritual by which the crown could be reformed…We headed back to the Offices and waited around…Unfortunately we received a Summons from the chief of security for Sharn…These were the same spooks that left Arrynt out to dry on his last mission into Cyre…A more unenthusiastic group you could not find…There was no way around the summons other than leaving Sharn and not returning…We reported to the giant ominous building where a gnome played St. Peter and sent us in to see a large scared human that claimed to be head of security…Of course he knew everything and told us that we could do our country a great service if we helped meddled in another countries power struggles…The Goblin Nation had three contenders for unification…Whichever tribe assembled our crown would be defacto ruler…Sharn wants the most civilized tribe to win…We are to go by airship to a set of goblin tombs know as the Six Kings and ingrate ourselves into the favored tribe, helping them find the pieces…There is suppose to be an agent in that tribe already but they cannot help us overtly…He promises that this will earn us the favor of the government and the lucrative contracts would return to Arrynt’s heirs…Not a single person wants to do this because they fooked Arrynt and left him to die…But we find we have no real choice…We swear an oath not to reveal what we learned and Guii requisitions most of the items in the PH for the journey…We then head back to the University hoping for a good cover story from the hot librarian…We find her in the tea room with some unusual fullblooded elves with a serious goth/death metal fetishist for a tailor…They wear skull makeup and have funerary items about their persons…

Apparently everyone and their mother’s know we have the piece of the crown…We should expect the goblin ninjas through the windows every night…These elfs want to see the piece of the crown…we allow it and they confirm that it is authentic…They offer to buy it for three times it’s worth…If only we could sell it…They have undead rulers that may actually be the rightful owners of the crown, but we are stuck helping the Sharn CIA mess with the goblin nations…So we lie to them and they leave politely…Great, add elven ninjas to the que for the windows…The professor really has not found much out…We invite her with us to go to the Six Kings…Pierce attempts to bluff by saying that with six tombs to loot our chances are pretty good there…She sees right through him and badgers us in goblin for more information…We lie and just try and get her on the ship…I think Sam might like her…Show her your crossbow Sam…I hear the ladies love that…We head off for the airship, we hope that will throw the ninjas off our tracks…

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Pierce's Plight VII
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Cast of Characters

Jake Arrynt – Longtooth Shifter Warden: Silus Arrynt’s country nephew and heir apparent to Arrynt Inquisitive Services

Sam – Human Artificer: And his crossbow…Consultant for AIS...Hates the government and now works for them…

Guillermo Marquis de Todo (You better believe I copy/pasted that) – Water Genasi Warlord: Dabbler in Wizardry and the Common Language…

Crawgle – Kenku Rogue: Former Carney…Now King Crawgle the First…You had me at carney…

Pierce – Warforged Barbarian: Wonders what the human race could accomplish if they were not so busy eating, drinking, sleeping, and fucking…

Session 7 (Skullduggery)

Back to the office to rest up before we board the Airship in the morning…Knock at the door and our intern arrives with a note..Jake reads it and tells us that the elves we met earlier are not who she thought they were…The elves we met earlier are ruled by undead elves that entered undeath through a ritual involving positive energy…Only the best of their race achieve this honor…Apparently, the elves we met are from a faction that believes every elf should be able to become undead, even through necromancy…The original crown had some powerful uses vs undead…She was so worried about them that she stashed copies of her notes in her guest suite at the University…Crap, we all assume she is dead or missing…We rush out into the rain and locate her bungalow…The door is cracked…We open it and and hear some noise from the a office room near the back…We head in and suddenly the elf from earlier with the half mask appears, spouting threats…Most of the party see through this projected illusion to the undead creature it hides…They attack…Several zombies, some ghouls, and a wight…They all are covered with the traditional tattoos of the elven lands that worship/ are lead by the undead…Several area attacks tell us that there is not a minion among them…Our new intern sat outside watching…He has a strange facial tick when fighting is going on near by…He really twitches right before the bad guys start attacking each other…We get to work and chop them down one by one…They have no loot, no information, a big fat zero…It looks like they were straightening the place up to hide the evidence of the abduction…Jake gets her notes…We leave…Next morning we notice a buzz on the street about the dead elves in the University…Oops, we might have wanted to tell someone about that…Good thing we have to meet with our contact in the Sharn Government before we leave…We tell him everything…He does not seem surprised at all…He tells us that undead attacked the Good Goblins last night and they took some losses…Guii collects his pile of stuff…We head out and board the ship…

No Air Pirates attack damn it…

We land without incident and find that the road we are to follow is a piece of shit…We also learn that we are on the border with a real peach of a country ...They are ruled by three hags…Have a lot of bad guys all trying to out bad each other…There is a particularly spicy minotaur bad ass in a keep not far from Six Kings...We head out…It is a long hard hike that is actually also a skill challenge…lots of endurance checks and creative uses of our skills lead us to a group of human scouts of the Emerald Claw and a goblin prisoner…Emerald Claw attacked us outside of where we saved Silus Arrynt just before Cyre went boom…They don’t want to talk/We don’t want to talk and arrows fly…We are at the bottom of a ravine with three of them and the goblin…There are also two up above…Intern Guy starts twitching and the guys up above us start punching and slapping each other…Everyone else charges in to beat on the guys on our level…Guii fireblasts Jake, this has become down right normal by now…Everyone moves around and seems to dare the archers to melee with them provoking plenty of OA…The two stooges continue to pound each other up above…We drop the lower scouts and save the goblin…Then everyone climbs the embankment like goats and knock the crap out of the two up above…We forget to spare anyone in our blood lust…We cut the goblin free…We try and play dumb about goblins and ask him a bunch of questions…He tells us he is from the truthseekers faction and is on a mission headed back the way we came…I drop the fact that we are on our way to Six Kings to loot the tombs in order to finish building a crown…I did this in hopes someone in the party would get a good insight check on him…Guess what? None of us has an insight worth a shit…We probably get ripped off on all our taxi rides…The goblin hurries off, we had hoped he would provide us an in when we get to Six Kings…Oh well…

Our hike continues, more endurance, heal, athletics, perception, and nature checks…A few days later we are near the mino keep…A few of us notice a Gnoll up on top of these small buttes…Maybe 20 feet tall only 20 feet wide for the most part and very steep sided…Seeing no real way to sneak up on these guys we approach…Closer to the lookout we are able to see around the bend in the path and notice another two goblins and a minotaur around a stew pot…There is a human head on the ground next to it…They attack…we fight back…Two orcs hiding in the woods join in…They don’t make it…We find some solid loot and head on…More skill checks await us…

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Pierce's Plight VIII
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Cast of Characters:

Jake Arrynt – Longtooth Shifter Warden: Silus Arrynt’s country nephew and heir apparent to Arrynt Inquisitive Services

Sam – Human Artificer: And his crossbow…Consultant for AIS…Hates the government and now works for them…

Guillermo Marquis de Todo – Water Genasi Warlord: Dabbler in Wizardry and the Common Language…

Crawgle – Kenku Rogue: Former Carney…Now King Crawgle the First…You had me at carney.

Pierce – Warforged Barbarian – Wonders what the human race could accomplish if they were not

so busy eating, drinking, sleeping, and fucking…

Intern Guy – Human Psion: Just wanted a little extra credit…

Session 8 (Malfunction)

Malfunction…Malfunction…Malfunction…Initiating Safe Mode…

Part of me is caught between my PIERCE program and Pierce program…I float beside my worldly-form, and observer…It makes a long walk much easier…We continue our march, each night, I hope my shut down will restore me to full control, but so far, that hope is in vain…Our group was jumped by an Emerald Claw ambush team on the road to Six Kings…I continue the journey leaving my friends to fight…The catch up to me, maybe that group was after Crawgle’s crown…We continue our march and very near the tombs we caught up with the goblin group by the third king…Another fight I remain motionless through…I get a good view of these warriors…They fight hard…

We arrive at Six Kings that day and meet with the word keepers…Since they were not creative enough to come up with a good lie, we told them the truth, just leaving out the bit about how we’re working for the CIA…Our agent suggests trial by combat…This is a brief ritual contest in which we demonstrated in single combat, that we’re competent to help them…We agree on the terms…We get the loot, we get the use of the crown parts, and they get our help…Then we camped for the night…This downtime finally restores me to normal operation…

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Pierce's Plight IX
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Cast of Characters

Jake Arrynt – Longtooth Shifter Warden: Silus Arrynt’s country nephew and heir apparent to Arrynt Inquisitive Services

Sam – Human Artificer: And his crossbow…Consultant for AIS...Hates the government and now works for them…

Guillermo Marquis de Todo (You better believe I copy/pasted that) – Water Genasi Warlord: Dabbler in Wizardry and the Common Language…

Crawgle – Kenku Rogue: Former Carney…Now King Crawgle the First…You had me at carney…

Pierce – Warforged Barbarian: Wonders what the human race could accomplish if they were not so busy eating, drinking, sleeping, and fucking…

Session 9 (Scared of the Dark)

God damn it…Everyone thinks I am a fucking steamshovel…”Our” agreement apparently included our doing all the fooking digging…Jake the badger boy and I spent hours digging through until we hit the chamber the goblin leader thinks is our path…It is a large tomb with a squat six sided obelisk in the middle…The communal burial monuments are broken and looted…We are told that we are splitting up at this point…The goblin races can use the obelisk to teleport near the furthest crown piece and we are hoofing it…Sam notices that the obelisk is leaking necrotic energy, so we get behind the doors before the goblins leave…This is a good move because a blast of necrotic energy animates all the bones in the room…We start in a good defensive position in the hall, there is a strange patch of ashen dust that we avoid, but we hack and pound the undead back into tomb detritus…We turn around, take a step and notice two wraith like forms in the room behind us…There are more patches of the dusty stuff…Jake charges in and engages both of them taking care not to step on the darker areas…..The room is damaged on two sides with 20’ drop offs into other room…The wraiths blast out necrotic energy and drag Jake onto one of the patches…Poof! they pop into large necrotic dust clouds…It is a small area so we are able to keep striking the insubstantial creatures until the disencorporate…We have two ways to go…we choose the larger cliff face and notice another form down below…Looks like another one of those shadow wraiths…We start the fight, it joins us on top of the cliff, but he is alone and falls quickly…His chamber has nothing of value and two exits that are blocked by rubble…We poke around in them and decide they are very blocked…We climb back up and descend the other side…More digging…We see light ahead… and a little glowing transparent goblin…He sees us and darts away…We shrug and continue…We climb the cliff face to the lit area…we find many translucent stalagmites with goblins frozen in them…We move to explore this room when the residents attack…A bunch of the little glowy goblins, two tentacled humanoid aberrations…It is a two front fight and a tough one, but we eventually cut them all down…The glow is some strange pools of water…Sam and Guii inform us that some sort of magic from the far planes locked the goblins in the stalagmites…At that point the rock phone rings and the bossy goblin tells us to be careful not to release the aberrant hordes locked behind the seals…She also tells us that this area became a battle ground during the old goblin wars…Okay we tell her…We pick the right most hall and start digging again…We pop out into a room with a bunch of ghostly goblins fighting a bunch of four armed, two mouthed messes we fought in the Keep we found Silus in all those years ago…Jake moves in to engages a mess, one of the goblins takes a swing at him…It is then on…We kill everything…Guii has an AOE-gasme…We loot up…The hall forks into two collapsed areas…We dig right and run into odd deep speech runes made of glowing purple rock, like what Crawgle’s crown is made of…We decide this must be the seals…We dig the other way…And by We, I mean Badger boy and I…The rest of the party buffs their fingernails to a nice shine…Maybe the can blind the next glowing tentacled slime we run into…It takes us into a large room…We climb a cliff on the far side of it…There are bad guys waitin on us…A few soldier type abberations move to us, and a large abberation stays in the back…We start hacking, burning, and pokin our way through them…The large guy picks up Jake and chucks him into Sam…Unfortunately that was his one trick, he must have been eating something with butter on it…He missed grabbing Jake twice before sending him flying…A tentacled baddy joins from an adjoining room, but it is too late and we wipe the floor with him…The tentacle thing came from an room with three exits, all sealed with doors that can be barred from the inside…We decide to explore some more…Through one of the doors is a vast space, there is some sort of fungus growing here that burns very easy, not explosively, but like a well laid campfire…We avoid it and a transparent goblin steps from around the corner, and with a sad look on it’s face, waves us into the chamber…Bad move…Burning corpses jump us…Goblin boy jumps into Jakes head and makes him set off a flame jet in the room, and a flaming bat swoops in…There is much burning..Much missing..and more burning, but we make it…we loot everyhing determine the exits are all warded against the horde…We head back, bar the doors and crash for the night…

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Pierce's Plight X
The human story from a decidedly non-human source.

Cast of Characters

Jake Arrynt – Longtooth Shifter Warden: Silus Arrynt’s country nephew and heir apparent to Arrynt Inquisitive Services

Sam – Human Artificer: And his crossbow…Consultant for AIS...Hates the government and now works for them…

Guillermo Marquis de Todo (You better believe I copy/pasted that) – Water Genasi Warlord: Dabbler in Wizardry and the Common Language…

Crawgle – Kenku Rogue: Former Carney…Now King Crawgle the First…You had me at carney…

Pierce – Warforged Barbarian: Wonders what the human race could accomplish if they were not so busy eating, drinking, sleeping, and fucking…

Session 10 (Tentacle Love)

We wake up in our barred room the next morning…We head out…After some digging we find ourselves in a HUGE room with a river running through it…Several of us notice a bunch of corprial pale goblins with stone weapons hiding on the other side and up a cliff…Jake first insults their mothers…Then he called them dishonorable…Then said they were aberration lovers…He is the only one to speak goblin, but we can see it is not going well…Pierce gives them the ole goblin fist thump salute…This calms them down, they invite us over and inform us they are still battling the aberrations all these generations since it ended on the surface…They are very happy to find out they have won the war…We dance around the fact that the continent is now infested with other humanoid races and play up the fact that we are recovering the crown to aid the assention of the rightful family of goblins…They inform us that behind their camp is a collapsed tunnel that aberrations pour out of every so often…Sounds good to us…I (we) dig on through…We find a motley collection of aberrations scattered down two elevation changes…A tentacled leader is doing some mischief at the pool…We try to draw them to the highest portion to fight, but Crawgle wants to mix it up, and since he moved first he ends up at the front getting beat up…We start unloading, they have ranged spike shooters…We have Guii blowing bitches up…PIERCE gets mad and starts pushing four armed dudes off of cliffs…A good long fight ending with lots of stabbing of backline spike shooters…We loot up and find our next crown piece…It is a stone that does bad things to stuff you critically wound…We give it to Crawgle…

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